All of the Memories

[izar]

((OOC: XD I will lol I'll probably have time to post one last time before I leave after this. I just haven't been on cause I have to do all of my homework before I leave ugh! lol *glomps* don't cry I shall return! <3))

Izar's mind kept drifting to the song. He liked music. But he was very picky about it. He liked music with a meaning. That song had quite a lot of meaning behind it. Yes he was slightly odd in that field but it was true if something was just babbling and made no sense then he was wasting his time listening to it. He grinned sheepishly hearing the wind chime again. He did however glance out the window suspiciously. he was a very suspicious person which was another thing that threw him off. He didn't feel worried or anything around Masinori. He turned his mind back to the matter at hand. He smiled watching Masinori's reaction with a smile.

Izar blushed and stuck his tongue out. He glared as Masinori patted his shoulder and caught the sleeve before it slipped and crossed his arms. He looked down at his feet letting his hair fall to hide his face. He was covering a laugh with one hand and covered his mouth with one hand as he spoke between suppressing laughs, "Wow... I don't know whether to feel humiliated... or flattered..." He grinned and tried to act like it hadn't fazed him. He followed Masinori and his eyes spotted something on his back. Izar maneuvered so that he could see it. He saw the tattoo and blinked. Before he could slop himself he reached out and poked it. "You're a fan of angels?" He asked he knew of plenty of people who were and read about them all the time. It was rather humorous on his part.

Izar popped up onto a nearby stool next to the counter and watched Masinori work. He raised an eyebrow as Masinori downed the liquor. He winced slightly for him. "Nani?!" He said out of reflex. Masinori had just decided that! Just now? He sighed and rested his chin on his hand, "I suppose if I don't have a choice." He said with a smile. "That is very decisive." He said in observation to no one in particular. He grinned throwing his own joke back at him, "Well I guess I don't mind considering we're now very best friends." He winked and stuck his tongue out again with a broad smile.

He took the tea gratefully and smile, "Thank you, again you have been too kind." He sipped the tea letting the hot liquid run down his throat warming him inside and out. "It's very good." He said with a smile, it was it was perfect. It didn't scald his tongue but nor was it too cool. It also didn't have too much flavor nor too little. He watched the tea swirl in his cup as he moved slightly and looked around the tea room. This whole place screamed that Masinori's friend wasn't just a girl but she was a girl who loved being a girl and liked to show it. Right down to the bathrobes.

He jumped when the lights flickered and his eyes complained as his pupils dilated and became small again very rapidly. He blinked several times to get them to stop seeing spots. Izar looked at the phone wondering if Masinori was going to answer it. Apparently not. He listened to the voice of a woman, presumably the one that Masinori lived with, tell him where she was staying and such. Izar sighed, "It would truly... suck... if it was." He said slightly unsure about the terminology.

[masinorimoriyama]

“You can be both at the same time, it‘s ok.” Masinori stated. Izar poked him in the back. He had feathered wings tattooed there, they extended to his shoulders, in thick black outlining. “Hai, well, not really angels, but wings…” He stopped, “I saw yours in the bathroom.” He winked…he continued, “I am fascinated by mythical creatures, but especially anything that can fly. Just flying in general. It’s something I always longed to be able to do. But instead of my own dreams coming true, I just get to see the dreams of other people.” Here he had selected the tea jar.

"Nani?!" Izar exclaimed. It was the first time he heard him say anything in Japanese, and it sounded oddly adorable. He said he didn’t mind being stuck there since they were best friends and all. He seemed a little delighted at the idea, and that made Masi’s stomach hurt a little, or maybe that was the alcohol hitting it. He seemed to be enjoying his tea as well. He had promised to take Izar wherever he wanted to be when the storm was over, and he thought crazy things to himself like, maybe he wants to be here.

After the message was recorded, he explained. “That is the girl I live with here. It’s her cottage. We are best fr…” He cut himself off, “Well, that is to say, we are good friends.” He didn’t want to diminish his previous statement about Izar and him now being the best of friends, or for him to think the sort of relationship he desired with him was similar to the one he had with Odille. He blushed and felt a little foolish now, he tried to explain. “We aren’t together or anything like that,” Shit! Why‘d I say that? Now he'll think... “I actually knew her a while ago in Japan, and, it‘s just a long story.” He was becoming a little exasperated.

"It would truly... suck... if it was." Izar said about the rain keeping up all night. “Yes, you probably have things to do…” The lightning struck and the thunder boomed loudly in pursuit. The lights flickered again. This time they stayed out a minute, and when they did, the room became illuminated by a second streak of lightning. Masinori closed his eyes, opened one as the lights came back on, and then relaxed and opened both. “Ah, good.” He said relieved that they were back on, but just as the words left his mouth, it became dark again. “Son…of…bitch…” He said low and slowly in the darkness, forgetting the “a“.

It wasn’t that late that it should be so dark, but the storm clouds made it seem like evening when in reality it was afternoon. His eyes adjusted to the darkness, everything was shadows and grey-blue. Well, there was a little light. He could almost see Izar clearly, almost. Masinori took a couple of steps forward, his hands out in front of him, and ran into the counter, which was what he was aiming for anyway. He felt around for the drawers, and opened one. Knives and forks. He went to the next one, which was a junk drawer and just what he wanted. He felt around for anything that felt like wax. Remembering his lighter in his pocket, he reached in, there was a pack of totally ruined cigarettes. Masi swore quietly at this before throwing them aside and taking out his lighter. The small flame lit up the drawer, and he found three small candles and a pathetic mini flashlight about six inches in length.

The candles were lit and then he took the flashlight to look through the rest of the drawers, wanting a cigarette now after seeing his ruined ones. He found a carton he’d purchased earlier in the week and tore open a pack frantically. With a deep breath he placed the rest on the counter and put a cigarette to his lips. Leaning against the counter next to Izar, he lit it, took a drag, exhaled, and casually said, “So.” Then, with his empty hand he reached for the bottle of vodka and took a swig, afterwards pushing it into Izar’s chest. He took it from his hand and Marinori worked on his cigarette. As he smoked, he looked down and his free hand played with the hem of Izar’s sleeve, the smooth silky fabric at his wrist.

(OOC: 2 pages woooo! I thought you left already, I was like "Man, now I have to actually write in my other posts XD)

[izar]

((OOC: lol XD I'll be popping in and out today... packing and naping, etc. ^__^))

Izar blinked and looked startled for a moment his face reddened slightly. "Oh!" He smiled, "You are mistaken, those were not my feathers, they come from a black swam and I keep them in my bag to fix broken arrows." He grinned. He wondered if Masinori knew that he was lieing. It must have been odd seeing feathers in the trash. It was his own stupid fault and he hid his stupidity in his tea taking another sip and watching the liquid. "You really like things that fly that much? Why don't you get a bird or something?" He said getting ready to change the subject soon. Izar thought about it for a moment, "You must have seen some really odd things in your lifetime then." He looked over at Masinori his silver eyes penetrating trying to read Masinori's expressions and eyes.

Izar sighed he might fly home... he didn't want to get back on the roaring death trap that Masinori rode around on. It made goosebumps raise on his arms as he thought about it. "How long have you ridden that motorcycle? It seems dangerous." He said implying his distaste for the object. He would much rather trust his travel to his own wings, thank you very much.

Izar smiled as he said that. He nodded and blinked almost choking on his tea. He regained his composure quickly and looked over at Masinori. Why would he tell me something like that? Izar's head spun. He was so lost in this crazy world. Everyone was discriminated against now a days for something. Like who they love, or what race the are, or if they have powers. He smiled and shrugged, "It's not like we don't have time." He said and sipped his tea some more. "Is she nice? Your friend." He said staring off into space his mind elsewhere. He was trying to let go of the thought about Masinori finding his feathers and became cold for a moment. If he knew it was true would he shun me? Or something else?

Izar shrugged, "Actually not really..." He sighed and looked into the tea cup. "I just wander, I don't have to be anywhere or anything." Izar was kicking himself. He had basically just said 'I'd rather stay here with you' only in many more words and through implications. Izar closed his eyes and pressed his eyelids with his fingertips in annoyance as the lights flickered again. He heard Masinori say "Good" when the lights came back on and made a noise of annoyance and knocked three times on the counter. "Way to jinx it." He teased as the lights went out for good. He sighed and tried to get his eyes to adjust to the darkness. There was no reason for it to be so dark... damn clouds...

He could make out Masinori's silhouette in the darkness. Basically a darker shadow of another shadow. He blinked as he put his lighter to the drawer. He moved over to it curiously to see what he was looking for. He watched him light a couple of candles and place them on the counter. He leaned against he counter next to the drawer leaning his hands on the top as he did so. He watched the candle flicker lightly in the small breeze created by their movement in the room. It did quite a bit to illuminate the room. More than one would have guessed. He could see Masinori clearly again, if dimmer, but clearly again. He smiled lightly feeling slightly odd at being alone with Masinori. He was unable to interpret the feeling.

He watched as he lit a cigarette. He really didn't care that Masinori smoked, it made him look tough and cool. Izar sighed, they were wrong, all the times that the school teachers had said that it was uncool to smoke were wrong. Masinori looked really amazing with one in his mouth. He smiled slightly and took to bottle and swirled it around for a moment before taking a swing of it. It burned his throat but not all that repulsively. He actually liked it. He took a second and then handed it back before he got carried away. Izar blinked just now realizing that Masinori had been playing with the hem of his sleeve. He smiled and blushed again. Masinori was awefully good at that. Making him blush. He shifted his hand ever so slightly that his hand brushed Masinori's. Yes, slightly corny but it felt good.

[masinorimoriyama]

Masinori’s focus on the hem of Izar’s robe was broken when the bottle was handed back to him. He took a little sip and set it down. “Odd things…beautiful things…frightful things.” He said. “Dreams reveal a lot about people. I’ve learned everyone has evil in them. I used to be naïve about that. In a way, I wish I still was.” No, now he only pretended or tried to pretend that he didn’t see the evil in people. Or that he saw past it. Izar had asked if Odille was nice. “Nice…Well, she’s the sweetest girl you ever wanted to meet. But she’s got a bit of that evil I talked about in her too. Her’s is caused by sorrow and it makes her selfish and manipulative. But she’s gotten a lot better I think. Her heart, what’s left of it, it’s a good heart. Just needs a little patience and fixing.” He put out his cigarette. “These are things I know from seeing her dreams though, if you met her then yes, you’d think she was very nice.”

“If you wander, you’ll like her. She’s done nothing but that for years. Actually I don’t think I’ll have you meet her…” He trailed off. “You may like her better than me.” He punched Izar playfully on the shoulder, rubbed the spot he hit twice, then went back to playing with his sleeve, he didn‘t want to talk about his roommate anymore. “A bird huh…that’s a genius idea.” He never thought of it. It really was smart. Now that he thought about it, he’d love to keep a bird. “Maybe a black swan.” He whispered. Izar’s hand lightly brushed his and it made his stomach burn, this time he was sure it wasn’t the alcohol. He twisted the fabric in his fingers like a lock of someone’s hair. “But if I kept a bird, it wouldn’t be able to fly. It would be a poor caged thing. And who could bear to tame a beautiful swan…”

Their laundry. “Izar…our laundry.” He reminded him, and grabbed the flashlight, giving Izar a head nod to follow if he wanted. The machine had stopped, but when he opened it he saw fortunately it had been in the dry cycle. It was one of those two in one European machines. It was all still damp, but it would do. “If we light a fire in the fire place, maybe it’ll dry quicker.” Masi grabbed his boxers and pants, thanking his past self mentally for not wearing leather pants the previous day. He dashed into the bathroom real quick to slip them on and discard the annoying towel. They were dry enough. “Decent?” He shouted in question before coming out to find Izar clothed and out of the silly robe.

They turned back, Masi throwing the robe over Izar’s shoulder jokingly as he walked, so that it fell off right away. He used the flashlight to guide them into the living area, which wasn’t very difficult given the size of the house, even with the slight impairment the alcohol was beginning to cause. He went ahead of Izar for the lighter to work on the fire...and brought back the bottle and a pack of cigarettes. He lit another one as he piled the wood up. “I don't know if you smoke, but you can feel free..." He offered absently. "So you don’t like my motorcycle huh.” It was a statement more than a question. “Yes, it is dangerous, but it’s so exhilarating. You feel like your fly…ing…” He trailed off, blushing that he kept talking about flying to him. It was just this juvenile thing he didn’t go on and on about with people. He did feel strangely more comfortable around Izar as apposed to most people. The fire got going and he sat down next to Izar on the pink victorian sofa in front of it. His shirt and coat were laid out in front of the fire.

[izar]

Izar flinched slightly remembering the dream that Masinori had seen about him. He wondered how much it had revealed about him. Did Masinori think that he was a bad person? Did he think that he was weak and cold? The questions whizzed in his mind so rapidly that he couldn't read all of them. "Yes, everyone has a little evil." Izar smiled, "She sounds wonderful, I would like to meet her one day." He watched Masinori toy with the hem of the sleeve and smiled pleasantly. He caught himself and blinked away the thought though the feeling stayed stubbornly. He grinned and looked off into the darkness beyond the candle light. Dreams were like mysteries that one couldn't uncover. And frightening like the unknown darkness.

Izar laughed and pretended to stagger slightly under Masinori's light punch. "I don't think that is possible," Izar said hardly believing his own ears, "Very best friend," He amended quickly. Izar smiled as he went back to playing with his sleeve. "Yeah," Izar agreed solemnly, "It is a very cruel fate for a bird to be unable to fly and a swam to be trapped like that." He smiled he liked swans they were regal and beautiful, yet they still had a tough attitude. Maybe that was why he made his wings black. He glanced over at Masinori and sighed he really though it was safe to show them to him but he didn't trust his thinking. He knew he could trust him but there was still that uneasiness about telling anyone for that matter about it.

Izar blinked of course it would be off because of the power. He followed Masinori and pulled out the slightly damp fabrics and pulled them on not at all happy about the current moisture settling back on his skin. "Decent?" Masinori called, "Hai!" Izar said. He leaned against the wall and laughed as he threw the robe over his shoulder. He raised an eyebrow and picked it up and threw it at Masinori's head. He looked over to the side when Masinori looked back and whistled like they did in the movies when they had done nothing or were pretending to do so.

He followed Masinori to the living room and stretched his arms before falling into a sitting position in front of the couch leaning against the couch and one leg sticking out and the other up with his elbow resting on it. Izar shook his head, "No thank you, I don't." He smiled warmly and sighed as the fire was started. It added not only to the light but the warmth of the small house. Izar shrugged, "I like it... I just don't like... you know... riding it." He said with one hand circling in the air absently. Izar grinned, "I like that feeling" He blinked and had to save his own ass again after saying something stupid, "You know like roller coasters and stuff." He had spread his own jacket and shirt next to Masinori's and crossed his arms as he sat with his back to the couch. He had several tattoos crossing his torso along with several scars from falling... He did that a lot... and two long scars on his back that ran parallel to each other from where his wings had come out the first time. He was very glad that once they had come out the first time they then came out obediently without pain.

[masinorimoriyama]

Masinori’s heart caught in his throat when he said Odille sounded wonderful, he felt this begrudging feeling for his friend for a moment and was about to say, “Now you’re definitely not meeting her! When Izar said it probably wasn’t possible that he’d like her more. Well, that just made him go all mushy inside and any ill will towards her left his body and was replaced by a twitterpated feeling. "I like it... I just don't like... you know... riding it." Masi actually giggled and looked back from the fire to Izar who was circling his hand in the air. "I like that feeling, you know like roller coasters and stuff.” It just hit him that he had his shirt of and he gawked at him for a minute before turning back to the fire. Which consequently, was roaring and didn’t need his attention. He didn’t even notice what he said about the feeling of flying.

His arms were crossed, he definitely had more tattoos than him. Masi got up and walked over to the couch, sitting down right next to Izar as he grabbed the bottle of vodka. He leaned way back, propping his legs on the coffee table so that he was slouched down shorter than Izar. He jumped up for a minute, to a straight sitting position, and took an impressively long swig. Then he promptly slouched back down, holding the bottle at his side, the arm furthest from Izar. “Hey the idea is that we’re stranded in a dark house so we have to "Hebereke ni naru made sake wo nomu" (translation: drink til you are drunk as a skunk) to entertain ourselves because there is nothing to do.” He said like he was informing Izar of some kind of important information. He held the bottle up a little and shook it at him. "How come I'm the only one here following directions?" He asked. "Ah," He breathed, "See, I've had too much, ignore me from now on."

Masinori hiccupped and put a hand to his lips, “that was embarrassing.” He said. He figured drinking would calm him down and loosen him up so he’d behave more like himself, unreadable and brooding. Who was this lighthearted fun-loving guy he was behaving like? It was as though he was a teenager again, he even felt like one. He kept feeling like he was trying to keep up an act, a false front, but wasn’t that who he was? He was like an unflinching palace guard, but around Izar he was a child. “When you speak Japanese…agh, it’s so kawaii I could throw up.” He said out loud.

“Isn’t it strange, that two Japanese guys with funky hair and tattoos, and they just happen to be Tainted, somehow meet in a field at the crack of dawn, nearly drown, and end up stranded in a power outage in some twisted pink cottage? Who are you, Izar? What evils do you possess? We all have them…” He took out yet another cigarette, “I hope you don’t mind my chain smoking.” He offered. “I look into dreams to find out people’s secrets, but I feel compelled to respect your wishes to not enter your dreams. Wont you give me permission? If not…tell me your secrets.” The last four words were whispered into Izar’s ear before slouching back down and lighting his third cigarette, was it his third? He lost count of the poisons put into his body by now.

[izar]

((OOC: HEY!!! I'm back!!!! *glomps*))

Izar nodded solemnly his eyes locked on the flames as they licked the sides of the wood and expelled heat generously. His shirt would most likely be dry in a few hours. He was content to just stay where he was for the time being. It was warm and comfortable and he didn't feel like moving. He blinked in shock for a moment at the strange and girlish noise that came out of Masinori's mouth. He chuckled a little bit and smiled broadly. He nodded again, "I guess I can see where you're coming from. I love the rush." He said and twisted the clouds of smoke into a vaguely bird shape before letting it be carried up the chimney. He wondered what it was that made Masinori love the feeling of flying so much.

Izar smiled watching Masinori grab to bottle of vodka and settle himself next to Izar. He laughed at the comment he made after he took a long swing. Izar smiled and laughed, "I think you are drunk as a skunk already." He grinned but made no move to reach for the bottle. "I might have to ban you from the alcohol." Izar laughed and raised an eyebrow. Izar was slightly worried. He didn't know what kind of drunk that Masinori would be. He was very glad that all of the sharp objects were beyond this room. He let his gaze travel over Masinori's body and felt his checks redden as he did so. He looked back into the fire to hide it. He had to stop doing that. He had a few tattoos but not as many as he did. They looked good on him. Izar shook his head he needed to stop thinking like that, but he couldn't.

Izar laughed when Masinori hiccuped and shook his head slightly at Masinori. He blushed and felt his face heat so much that he was sure he glowed. He laughed and reached over to grab the bottle from Masinori. "I think you're done." He said sternly and laughed before raising it to his own lips and drinking from it. Masinori was so carefree if the drink could do that for him why not Izar too. He certainly wanted to feel carefree again and perhaps even outgoing... nah, that will never happen. He did feel more comfortable speaking freely with Masinori than with anyone else. It was truly odd.

He listened to Masinori speak and decided it was all too unfair to call him drunk yet. Very close yes, but not drunk yet, at least he hoped. IT was odd how things had worked out. It almost seemed as if a greater power was doing something. Izar didn't answer immediately. He didn't think that he ever would answer but his lips moved for him. "I'm still trying to figure that out myself, "Izar told him, "I'm still lost in this crazy world." That was a scary thought, not knowing who you truly were. Usually you never knew that you didn't know yourself until you thought about it. The second question he pretended he did hear. But he could think of several evils in him. His self doubt, his quick judgment, so many thing he could think of but none that he could admit. "Not at all." Izar said reflexively to Masinori's chain smoking. When he spoke directly into his ear Izar felt a chill run down his spine and the hairs on the back of his neck rose. He could feel Masinori's breath briefly on his neck. "Yes," Izar breathed, he did give him permission. He surprised himself that was like letting someone know everything about him. "I have many secrets." He said absently. He turned the statement against Masinori, "What about you, Masinori? What is it that you're hiding?" He said barely breathing as he faced Masinori, "What are your secrets?"

[masinorimoriyama]

(OOC: SQUEEE! *tackles you* I'm so glad you’re back, how was it?!)

Izar explained that he was still figuring out who he was, it was…well, it was nice to hear but also unexpected. He seemed to be sure of himself, and he also seemed to be a very strong unique individual. He suddenly felt very silly for having asked and wasn't sure what he'd expected to hear. He was definitely going to take it easy with the alcohol. And anyway Izar had confiscated it so the odds of him having too much more weren’t good anyway. He drank some of it himself after taking it from Masinori. He watched his lips move as he spoke, his face shadowed in the dark blue light. He could feel insects fluttering around inside of him, almost a sick nervous feeling formed there.

Masi wondered how well he really knew himself. He knew his likes, dislikes, and mannerisms. Ever since he'd discovered his ability though the core of who he was was in conflict. First he believed in righteousness, protecting and serving the innocent. When that and all that came with it cast him aside and didn't want him, what happened? It seemed that no one and nothing wanted him, and now he was abruptly running off and joining the ranks of killers. Were they killers? Extermination, it was the word Mr Beckett had used. That was what Masinori wanted, wasn't it? What he'd wanted for a long time now, to get rid of those foolish brutes, the untainted. And they wanted him, had even called Masi's ability very interesting. He'd finally found his place.

“What about you, Masinori? What is it that you're hiding? What are your secrets?" Masinori let out a heavy breath and looked into his eyes, but blinked away with a smile because the insects went really crazy when he did that. “I like the way you call me by my full name…” He paused, no one did that, and if anyone did it would've felt weird. But for some reason he really liked when Izar did it. “If I told you they wouldn’t be secrets, ha.” He joked. He was looking at the fire now. He had one new secret that he wanted more than anything to share with him at that moment. He wanted to say five words to Izar, but knew it was silly to want to say them. But he also knew that even if he did have the nerve to do so, and even though he was drinking, it didn’t matter, he’d still mean them tomorrow. He wanted to tell him how strongly he felt for him with those five words, even though they’d just met.

He wanted to tell him all of his secrets too. That he was useless, worthless, maybe just as much as the species he abhored. That he was afraid he was making the wrong choices and selling his soul, was destroying himself, and had even tried on more than one occasion to do so. He was full of prejudices and hatreds and even felt justified in them and Izar shouldn’t bother being around him at all if he knew what was good for him. That if he really did mean those words he so desperately wanted to utter, he should even brave the awful storm just to get Izar as far away from him as possible. But that he was too selfish to do so and secretly feared Izar would find all of this out and run as fast as he could from Masinori.

“I will tell you all of them in time…and…” He said with a hint of desperation, or something, in his voice. He looked back at him now and took one of his hands in his own, “I wont keep anything from you.” Then he let it go and looked back at the fire before standing up. He lit another cigarette, they were starting to make him feel nauseous he was having so many, and paced in front of the fire while he smoked it. "And then you will hate me for it." He said.

People don’t act like this… he told himself. You’re being crazy and irrational, just keep your mouth shut. What did Izar feel? His signals were hard to read. Or maybe they were easy, but Masinori was confusing himself with the mixture of his wanting Izar to feel the same and not thinking he was deserving of it. It was obvious Izar felt a hint of something for him, but he was subconciously telling himself he didn't. It was self sabotoge. Not to mention they’d known each other just a few hours. No! Masi told himself, you saw him weeks ago…and you felt that way then, the first instant his existance became known to you... As absurd as it was, it was what people called "love at first sight" and he couldn't help it no matter how hard he tried.

Masi took a long drag of his cigarette and coughed. Stupid cigarette. He got all frustrated and angrily stamped it out on an ashtray that sat on a side table in the living room, then he stood in front of the fire. His throat felt awful, everything sort of did, the fire being the only exception. It just felt warm and caused him to yawn. His stomach growled, and he absently reflected that he hadn't eaten anything but that apple earlier, but he didn't want to eat, the alcohol took away his appetite. He figured if Izar was hungry he'd have said something or just gone and helped himself, remembering a little while ago when he'd declined food.

So with nothing else in mind, he sat back down on the couch, the same slouched position. His hands were folded on his chest, and his head was tilted back with his eyes closed. His eyelids were very heavy. The thunder sounded again and made him squint for a second before relaxing. He could hear Izar breathing next to him and wondered if he would fall asleep even though it was nighttime, and he never actually slept at night.

(OOC again: I'm channeling Severus Snape for Masi XD )

[izar]

((OOC: It was amazing! It was sooo cool I got to swim in a coral reef and swim with sharks. I also got to wade in hip high water! ^__^ It was the best time of my life!!))

Izar looked into the flames his silver eyes reflecting the glow slightly. He had so many secrets that he didn't know if he would ever be able to say all of them. He remembered the man that he had killed not a year ago. He looked over at Masinori, how would he react if he knew. It didn't matter that the man had been asking for it he hadn't meant it. He did when he did so but now he regretted it deeply. Not only that but so many other things that he would never want to tell anyone. Though he regretted several of them. He was so afraid of Masinori shunning him more than anything else. Even one of the minor secrets like his wings was hard to say for fear of how someone would react. That was that scared him more than anything, minus water...

His secrets were dark and very fragile. They had to be handled with special care and were part of who he was and also part of why he didn't know who he was. He thought he had known then He found out about his powers. Once he had come to terms about that then Zeferu died and his world turned inside out again. He didn't know if he could trust Masinori. He wanted to, by God he wanted to. Why was it that he couldn't really say what it was that he felt? Was it that he was afraid or that he really felt that was that scared him? A little of both probably. He didn't know if Masinori felt the same way and didn't want to scare Masinori away. That would be too much.

Izar smiled when Masinori liked it when he called him by his full name. Izar felt his heart skip a beat and smiled softly in the dim light. He wondered if this meant that he liked Masinori. Well of course he liked Masinori, but perhaps as something more. I laughed, "I suppose you're right." He grinned and played a little more with the smoke in the fire before giving up and letting it rise on it's own. He wished silently that he was some sort of angel. He looked the part with his wings but he couldn't live up to the name. He felt useless and he wondered if Masinori would leave if he said so. If he knew everything. It terrified him.

Izar smiled, "I'll tell you a secret for every secret you share with me." He promised and vowed silently not to leave anything out. He blinked and turned to look at Masinori. He wanted Masinori to keep his hand in his. He watched him pace and stood when he said that he would hate him. He stood in Masinori's way and grabbed his shoulders. He looked up into Masinori's eyes and tried desperately to read what was in them. "There is nothing that you could have done that would make me hate you." Izar said his silver eyes steady and serious. When Izar thought about all of his flaws he figured that Masinori would have just as many selfconscious feelings as he did and he didn't blame him for it. Izar truly didn't thing anything that Masinori could say at this point could change the strange way he felt.

His mind turned to the feeling of need that he had had earlier. He let go of Masinori and let him resume his pacing. When he had first met Masinori he had hated him. He had thought that he was a arrogant fool and thought that he had been making fun of the way that Izar looked. He didn't like to be judged. He had been taken aback and disgusted. Maybe that was why he had laid under that tree this morning. So that misunderstandings may be fixed and friendships could be made. It was odd how fate worked. It was annoying though, it could have done it without shutting them in a pink house without power in the only rainstorm of the season. Rather ironic when one thought about it. The only time it rained happened to be the day that Izar made peace with Masinori. One would have thought it would have been a good day not a bad one.

Izar went and slid back down into a sitting position and watched Masinori pace again. His head barely over while his eyes followed his every move. Izar closed his eyes as Masinori coughed and put out his cigarette. He wondered if Masinori was hungry. H wasn't really but that was just him and he had a little bit of a problem there. It wasn't his fault he just didn't like to eat a lot. He was worried about Masinori. All that drinking and smoking couldn't be good. He couldn't help but feel worried. He didn't know why he should care. He blinked slowly letting his eyes rest. They were feeling irritated after staring at the fire for so long.

Izar felt sleepy all of the sudden. He always felt sleepy when it rained, maybe it was just that he didn't like the rain. He blinked hard trying to keep himself awake. His eyes followed Masinori as he slouched back down on the couch and closed his eyes. He wondered if Masinori slept much. He suspected he didn't like to because of invading people's dreams but people had to sleep sometime. If he stayed awake that might make it easier for Masinori to sleep. The thunder sounded outside, however, this time it didn't startle him. He was content in just watching Masinori for a while. It was odd, everything seemed to disappear when he looked at Masinori.

((OOC: lol yay snape!))

[masinorimoriyama]

"I'll tell you a secret for every secret you share with me." That was fair, Masinori thought. But it didn’t take away his dread. It wasn’t so much that he had a ton of deep dark secrets, but that he was afraid of Izar not liking who he was now. His secrets were mostly embarrassing ones or things that made him look bad in some way. As he paced quietly, Izar suddenly stood up and blocked his path. He grabbed him, his sparkling eyes bore up into his and it was petrifying how it made him feel. He couldn‘t move, and didn‘t want to. "There is nothing that you could have done that would make me hate you." That was all very well, but Masi asked, “What about the things I have yet to do?” He let go of him much too soon.

There was this nagging in the back of his mind about Caliga. He wasn’t supposed to talk about it of course, not that he had much to talk about on the matter at the present since he hadn’t even been to a meeting yet. Considering his previous statement to not keep anything from Izar, it created a conflict. Somehow Izar didn’t seem like the type that wanted to rid the world of Untainted people everywhere. But he also seemed to be assuring him that he’d stick by him. He hoped so.

Masinori opened his eyes to see Izar looking at him. He smiled faintly and straightened up. “I don’t usually sleep at night because I use the time to look into dreams…that’s secret number one and evil number one: I invade people’s most private intimate dreams unbeknownst to them. It’s practice I guess, but I don’t know what for. I used to use my ability to help people. But secret number two: I use it mostly for my amusement or selfish gain.” He stopped for a second and squinted into the fire, “What was I getting at? Oh, sleep. Do you mind if we go lay down and try and do that…I don’t usually sleep at night, but I really want to take the night off after all of this…” He referred to the storm, he stood up and blew out the candles, taking the pathetic flashlight to light their way on the short walk to his room. “The fire will burn out on it’s own.”

It wasn’t unbelievable that they tripped on their way in, the way he and his roommate kept their things strewn about…and the way he was a little bit tipsy. He wondered how much Izar had to drink, he didn’t count. He had to laugh when he tripped over something, and he’d grasp Izar’s arm to pull himself back up, blush profusely in the dark, apologize in Japanese, and continue on. They made it there with minimal accidents. Masi knocked over a glass, he wasn’t even sure what it was doing in the hallway anyway. Fortunately it’d fallen away from the pair.

“Most of my secrets are just about what a useless person I seem to be.” Masinori explained as he flipped the light switch on and off, nothing happening of course. He shone the light on the bed. It was a full size bed, taking up most of the room, and covered in a black damask comforter. There was also a dresser and desk in the room that couldn’t be seen in the dark like this, and a window with black striped drapes. “We can talk for a while, unless you’re very tired…” He turned down the bed and got under the blanket. It was much warmer and pleasant than the fire had been. “You don’t mind, right? I’d tell you to go sleep in Odille’s room, but I don’t know how she’d react when she came home and found you there.” He hoped he didn’t get the wrong idea, though he wasn’t sure what the wrong idea would even be at this point. It definitely wouldn’t be Hey, Masinori, are you attracted to me or something?, that at least was the right idea.

“You know, it sounds hasty of us to say so…but I believe you mean it because I know how I feel and that I mean it as well; nothing you’ve done or will do, nothing about who you are could cause me to hate you, Izar. I wont leave you, even if I wanted to, and I couldn’t want to.” That was as close to a Call me crazy but…I’m-in-love-with-you that he was going to get for now. His memory flashed back to that morning when he was riding back to his old roach hotel of an apartment for some clothes and he'd spotted Izar. What he felt when he realized it was him. The first time he saw him in town and was completely put under a spell and couldn't forget him ever since. He remembered how he'd been feeling about life lately. Suddenly Izar had come into it, like a slap in the face waking him up and removing him from the dream world...but this was something so much better than dreams.

(OOC: That sounds really fun, I went snorkeling once (that's where you just have the face mask and you swim on the surface right?) when my sister got married, but I'm not much of a swimmer cause it messes up my hair -_- hahaha, I'm lame. I live in "the Sunshine State" and I'm like uber pale cause I never see the sunlight. Aaaaanyway, it's cool that you had such a nice time! XD I can't believe you swam with sharks!!!! I'd be soooo scared it's not even funny.)